What is your attention focused on?

We can all relate to the warm feeling that comes from congratulating people on their remodeling, or from receiving such compliments--on acknowledging the work and commitment of resources that went into such a project, or recognizing a successful effort. But what about those who find it difficult to subject themselves to such expenditures of time, money, chaos and crews? Or who are satisfied with their homes as they are?

We're not socialized to share reassurances and compliments with those people so easily. One reason is that it's harder to know where someone stands until one seems some act--such as remodeling--which clearly demonstrates one's intention. Indeed, more than once I've complimented homeowners on preserving their old styles, only to have such remarks dismissed by an attitude suggesting I should have realized they'd already be building the grandest estate on the block if only the time were right.

We can't escape the fact that compliments, like humour, have two sides to them. Praise for remodeling may hurt others present who want to do something similar but aren't able to, or who are sorry to see the old be discarded. I hope my having told those of you who are proud new remodelers of disappointing responses I've gotten makes it easier to hear from me--and others--the honours I'm bestowing on those who preserve their structures and trim the way I remember them growing up, even if they're peeling more now. I don't think less of them for holding on to what is no longer "in style," and I didn't think less of you before you made your abode bigger and more gleaming.

I understand the benefits of metal and vinyl doors, windows and fences, and of course I wouldn't presume to tell you not to install them--but if a factor in the choice is the hope that they will convey the charm of wood to you and others, I'd ask you to reconsider. (I understand that wooden shingles present fire issues, but I shouldn't fail to acknowledge the tasteful inconspicuousness of the nondescript composition shingles and thin-frame aluminum windows that used to be more common.) Modern materials used in a way that accepts what they are show more respect for the old textures that remain elsewhere. Or even coming up with new ways to use them--with all the possibilities, why settle for trying to look like wood when the materials can be shaped into anything? How about faces coming out of the walls like in that pest control commercial? New looks can be awesome as well, and while my intent is not to berate those of you who've opted for a new look--or to suggest it's too late to have a "lived-in" look--I'm sure you can find whatever way you need to go from here in the event I've touched on something sad for you.

I'm sorely tempted to leave notes on charming old houses I pass, in case the owners are wondering if everyone else wouldn't rather see more houses that look like so many other new ones. While that's not appropriate, I hope others among you who prefer diversity will freely forward this!